One of the key challenges that a manager faces is; how can they tell their subordinate that they have under-performed or handled a situation wrongly, without being neither so harsh nor so soft?!
And I get it, as a manager you want to make sure work is being carried on efficiently and correctly, and you’re afraid a wrong behavior may spread among the team and become a norm. But on the other hand, you shouldn’t risk losing good calibers, they’re rare gems these days.
How can you deliver the message effectively in a way that makes it a learning experience not a humiliating experience for that employee.
Well, here’s a breakdown step by step method on how to do it:
1. Set a Meeting
Never surprise your subordinate with a situation appraisal session out of the blue. Set a meeting with them in advance. Let them know the reason of the meeting, so they can prepare themselves and build their defense case. It’s absolutely their right. We’re all grown-ups here.
2. Make it Private
Don’t criticize in public or in a group meeting, it’s cornering and humiliating. And your employee will only remember the humiliation, your feedback will sound like nonsense, not a single word of it will be processed, as if you’re speaking in a mute mode. The meeting should always be 1 to 1.
3. Leave your emotions at the door
Detach from any anger or negative emotions that were caused by the employee’s incident or wrong behavior. Self-control is a key trait of leadership. Act like a proactive leader, not a reactive child.
4. Start with genuine praise
Mention the positive characteristics of that person at the beginning of the conversation and appreciate them. Starting with positive appreciation makes them more receptive to the following concern you’re about to share and assures them that your belief in them haven’t been shaken.
5. Never follow the praise with the word “But”
Following the praise with a BUT makes the person feel that the praise was an unauthentic introduction. It totally erases the praise. Instead replace BUT with AND, for example: “and that’s exactly why I invited you to this meeting today”. Then follow it with a positive intent.
6. State a Positive Intent
Reassure the person that there’s a positive intention behind this meeting. Say something like “and the reason we’re meeting today is that I want to make sure your business skills are as good as your technical skills, I want you to be great in all aspects of that job, I don’t want anyone to hold something against you”, or “I want everyone to see you the way I see you”.
7. Be Specific
Be specific about the issue. State the incident or problematic behavior clearly. Don’t confuse your employee. They might be already nervous, confusing them could make them fully miss your message.
8. Listen
Remember that’s a 2-way conversation in the first place. You need to give them enough time to tell their side of the story. There might be a huge misunderstanding that lead to the problematic incident, you never know. Listen actively to their side of the story in order to get 360 insights about the situation.
9. Call out your own mistakes
If you’ve done similar mistakes or handled similar situations poorly in the past when you were in the same age or position as your subordinate, now is a great time to mention that. It makes them see you as a normal understanding human being, and that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and we avoid repeating. Your employee will become encouraged to ask you for advice in future situations.
10. Suggest steps for improvement or resolution
Suggest clear steps for developing this missing competency or for resolving the problem. That’s a learning situation, so there should be a learning outcome. That’s where your role as a mentor comes into play.
11. Ask for their suggestions
That’s crucial. They need to co-own with you the development plan or the resolution strategy so they can execute it. In order for that to happen you need to ask them for their suggestions or alternatives, and mix it and match it with your own suggestions. People find it hard to execute a plan they didn’t set or approve.
Poor performance situations are chances for you as a manager to teach your people something new that they wouldn’t have learnt if it wasn’t for you, to practically impact their lives in a way that will make you unforgettable. A true leader should be a charismatic conversationalist, someone who people feel encouraged to speak in their presence, someone who can read the untold, someone that when speaks people want to listen and follow. It’s how we handle tough situations that sets apart true people-oriented leaders from ordinary operations managers.
If you’re a manager, and one of your goals is to enhance your relationship with your team, and boost their productivity & retention, check Communicate to Lead; a leadership communication training session designed specifically for managers and team leaders; to help them win the hearts & minds of their teams.
Very useful and practical too.
I enjoy your piece of work, thanks for all the useful articles.